


Don’t Ask, Do Tell

by thesoundofnat



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Coming Out, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Pansexual Character, Tony is pan ok, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, tbh everything is brief and vague but better be safe than sorry, the underage sex is brief and ungraphic but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 18:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12281754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: He cleared his throat. “I think you’ve realized I didn’t ask you to come for no reason.”“I sort of figured.”“Truth is I have something I want to tell you. Something I probably should’ve told you twenty years ago.”Rhodey’s confused eyes met his own and Tony knew there was no turning back.(Or, DADT gets repealed and suddenly Tony feels like he needs to come out to Rhodey, finally.)





	Don’t Ask, Do Tell

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: A brief mention of a 15 year old sleeping with someone who’s a few years older, alcohol consumption, canonical death.

**September 20, 2011**

Tony thought for sure he was over this perpetual urge to  _do_ it and  _say_ it and  _live_ it, but it became clearer and clearer that he wasn’t, and his old panic returned. Washed over him and overwhelmed him until he couldn’t breathe as easily anymore. But then again, when had he ever breathed freely? For as long as he could remember, that oppressing hand had been enclosing his throat.

The news had reached him when he’d been secretly scrolling the various apps on his phone during a meeting, and the only reason he hadn’t heard about it earlier was because he’d been running late that day, and no one found any reason to tell him. Probably barely knew about it themselves. But one lonesome post on Twitter brought the trending topic to his attention, and suddenly he was gaping at his phone, every thought of being discreet gone from his mind.

“Mr Stark?”

“Sounds great, Jeffrey,” he said, standing up, phone in hand, eyes on no one. “Emergency. Gotta run.” And he did. Practically leaped through the halls until he was alone. And then he allowed himself to panic, and he hadn’t stopped panicking ever since, and he wasn’t entirely sure  _why_ , though he was sure it had something to do with that old urge returning.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He thought he was over this.

But did he have to be over this? Now with the DADT having been repealed. Now that people were almost allowed to be themselves, freely. Almost.

He didn’t know a thing.

Fuck.

He drank himself to sleep that night, and then every other night of that week.

**September, 1985**

The alcohol he’d stolen from a guy on his floor was burning in his veins, untangling the thoughts that barely made sense when he was sober. This wasn’t the first time he’d been drunk, but it was the first time he was  _this_ drunk. He wasn’t sure if he liked it. He felt too out of control, but at the same time it felt… good. Liberating, almost.

He knew he’d probably regret this.

The hallway was full of bodies. Some he knew, some belonged to strangers, but it didn’t matter, because he smiled at every single face, and they all drunkenly grinned back. Confused, or giddy, or without a care in the world. All depending on if they knew who this random kid who had somehow managed to get into college at 15 was. Tony didn’t care if they did.

“Aren’t you a little young for whatever’s in your cup?” a guy asked, appearing in front of him out of nowhere and forcing him to stop in his tracks. He was tall. Well built. Handsome.

Tony was suddenly aware of everything about himself. How much shorter he was. How much younger and lankier and less experienced. But he still managed a smile, and fortunately the guy smiled back.

“Maybe I am,” he slurred out, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. “Are you going to tell on me?”

“Nah, I’m not a snitch,” the guy said, leaning against the wall. All smirks and head tilts. “Besides, not drinking at college is a crime.”

Tony nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. “That I’ve heard.”

“I guess it’s not hard finding any booze here, even if it is MIT.”

“It was surprisingly easy.”

And everything else became blurry after that, but when Tony woke up it was in an unfamiliar dorm room in an unfamiliar bed with a semi familiar guy beside him, and he never told anyone about it.

That was the first time he slept with a man, though not the last.

**September 28, 2011**

He had to tell Rhodey. That was the first thought to cross his mind when he woke up to the usual hangover. The notion brought a fresh wave of panic, and he was sure his exhausted body and weary brain wouldn’t be able to take this much longer. And that was exactly why he should just tell him. Get it over with. Rip off the bandaid before the wound became infected.

It didn’t make it any easier.

Rhodey didn’t ask why he’d suddenly invited him over in the middle of the week. Could probably see it on him that something was up. Wrong, even. All Tony knew was that his friend entered his home wearing a mask; a mask covering up the concern that Tony’s mask that was covering up his panic had caused. Maybe they both needed to stop investing in masks.

“Do you want a drink?” Tony asked, his back already turned to him, his feet already steering him toward the liquor cabinet.

“If it’s not too much of a bother,” came Rhodey’s reply, and when Tony returned with two glasses of whiskey on the rocks he was sitting on the couch, looking more tired than he would probably admit to.

Tony handed him his glass and they drank.

“So how have you been?” he asked, desperate for some normalcy, because in his brain everything had turned upside down.

“Busy,” Rhodey said, staring at a spot on the wall across from him for a brief moment before turning toward Tony. “It’s the season, you know? You’d think it would be different once we’d graduated, but autumn always hits you in the face even if you’ve spent all summer working.”

Tony raised his glass. “Amen to that.”

“I’m just trying to take it one day at a time, I guess. What about you?”

“I think people want me to be doing the opposite of that.”

“Let me guess. You don’t.”

“I’d love to take everyday as it comes, but you know I can’t. Despite what they say I always overthink it.”

“They don’t have to know.”

“No. They’re fun to mess with, so please refrain from telling them.”

“I will try my best.”

Tony took another sip, his nerves all over the place, though Rhodey merely kept his glass in his hand. Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted him to drink or not.

He cleared his throat. “I think you’ve realized I didn’t ask you to come for no reason.”

“I sort of figured.”

“Truth is I have something I want to tell you. Something I probably should’ve told you twenty years ago.”

Rhodey’s confused eyes met his own and Tony knew there was no turning back.

**August 5, 1995**

The last thing Tony thought he’d experience when he woke up that morning was Rhodey almost catching him in bed with another guy. It was summer. Hot. Humid. So very L.A. And of course that meant a parade of pretty people found their way into Tony’s home and occasionally bed, though Tony was a man rarely left alone, so he kept the amount of men he slept with to a minimum.

But sometimes they were invited inside, and sometimes things went down. He couldn’t remember this particular guy’s name, and neither of them cared, but with the midday sun forcing its way into the bedroom through the small opening of the curtains, and Tony’s phone going off as if someone died (a joke of poor taste, he had to admit), it became harder and harder to ignore the world, and Tony ended up growling almost angrily when he answered the phone. “What?”

“Wake up, sleeping beauty. I’m outside, let me in.”

It was Rhodey. Of course. Hanging up without affirming or even saying goodbye, Tony turned to the guy who unfairly and unsurprisingly looked just as handsome in daylight and said, “You gotta leave.”

He’d snuck people out before. He’d never  _had_ to, but it was almost a part of the game to pretend to be coy about it, and he’d enjoyed leading girls out the back way while grinning and promising he’d call. It had been fun.

This wasn’t fun.

The guy was excruciatingly slow about getting dressed, and insisted on using the bathroom before making the twenty minute drive into town. Tony couldn’t blame him, but in his panic he could do nothing but become exasperated.

“Okay, but hurry!” he snapped, pulling on his own clothes from the previous night after deeming them decent enough for a Saturday out here. “Look, there’s this door just before the kitchen. It leads you to the backyard.  _Use_ it. Do  _not_ pass the kitchen, because it will lead you to the living room where we will be sitting. And for all that is holy, be  _quiet_.” Maybe whisper yelling all this into the bathroom door while the guy tried to go about his business wasn’t the best option, but he was desperate.

When Tony entered the hallway Rhodey was banging on the door, and something told him he’d been doing it for a while.

“What took you so long?” Rhodey asked once he’d let him in.

“Sorry, I was sleeping when you called,” Tony said in his own defense. “I barely knew how to use my legs until a minute ago.”

“Rough night I presume.”

Tony shot him a grin he hoped was less panicked than he was feeling. “Always.”

Rhodey didn’t look amused. Ever since Tony’s parents had died almost four years earlier his friend did everything to help him, and for the past year he kept referring to pretty much anything Tony did as bad habits he used as coping mechanisms. And maybe he was right, but Tony refused to sit around on his ass with nothing but his grief. He’d done that enough already.

“You know, maybe if you tagged along sometimes you’d have some fun too while simultaneously keeping an eye on me.” Tony gave his chest a light slap. “Everyone wins.”

“You think my goal in life is to babysit you?”

“Obviously.”

“Tones-”

“Do you want anything? Something to drink? Some-”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Didn’t you hear that?”

Tony forced his voice to remain calm. “Hear what?”

“It sounded like a door being shut or something.” Rhodey’s expression suddenly changed. “Someone’s here, aren’t they?”

Play along, Stark. Rhodey had no reason to suspect it was a guy. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He tried to make his smug grin tell a different story, and Rhodey was rolling his eyes instantly.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Hey, I’m not the one barging in midday on a Saturday. And at least I’m getting laid.”

“I get laid too, you know.”

“I need evidence, Rhodey.”

“Did you at least get a number?”

“Dunno. You sort of forced me to kick them- her out quickly.” If Rhodey noticed his near miss he didn’t comment on it.

“Will you ever treat people nicely?”

“Maybe when I’m old and gray. And hey, they don’t complain when I’ve got them-”

“Don’t wanna know, Tones.”

Tony crumpled up the note with the phone number he found in his bedroom an hour later the moment he caught sight of it.

**September 28, 2011**

“Tony, you-” Rhodey cut himself off. Placed his glass on the coffee table and tried again. “You don’t have to tell me anything unless you want to.”

“I do want to.”

“But you look like you’re gonna pass out.”

Tony couldn’t help the smile from finding his lips. Weak. Tired. Terrified. “I think it’ll be worse if I don’t tell you. I need you to know. I need you to finally know.”

“This sounds serious.”

“It is. Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe I’ve just been overthinking it.”

“For twenty years.”

“I think it’s closer to twentysix actually.”

Rhodey ran a hand over his face. “You’ve been carrying something big around for  _twentysix years_? Why haven’t you told me earlier?”

“It wasn’t relevant back then. Or appropriate.”

“Tony, what-”

“Please just-” Tony exhaled loudly, finally looking away from him. “Just let me say it. If I don’t say it today I never will.”

Rhodey didn’t reply, but Tony could feel his gaze on him. Could feel his undivided attention and concern and patience. Tony couldn’t help but feel as if everything would change once he told him.

Tony sat up straighter, scooting forward on the couch as if preparing himself to run. Maybe he could utter those words he’d never told a soul and then make a run for it. That would certainly be memorable - though, of course, just the simple confession would be memorable on its own.

How could it not?

“Truth is,” Tony started and regretted it immediately. He hadn’t been  _lying_ about his attraction to women all these years. It just happened to not be the only direction his desires travelled in.

He cleared his throat and restarted. “It’s about my, uh, orientation.”

“Orientation?”

“It’s a bit all over the place.”

“That… makes no sense.”

“Rhodey, I’m not straight.”

I was funny how words that had been stuck in your throat your entire life could leave your lips so easily.

**October, 1986**

“I know you’re young,” Rhodey said, even though the bastard was only two years older. “But you cannot tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

“Marriage? Kids? No, I cannot say I have, Rhodey, my friend.”

“Never? Not once?”

Tony shook his head, utterly amused and very unsure of how this conversation had started. “Do you walk around picturing your dream wife or something?”

“Sometimes,” Rhodey said, somewhat defensively. “And sometimes I see a girl who just looks  _so good_  that I almost want to propose on the spot.”

“You’re kidding me.”

Rhodey grinned. “Okay, a little bit. But seriously.” He gave Tony’s arm a light slap. “You never talk about girls with me. And don’t tell me it’s because you’re too young or busy. I’ve seen you return early in the morning in your rendition of a walk of shame. But you never want to discuss it.”

Tony’s heart was suddenly attempting to escape from his ribcage. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“But you’re not a shy guy. It’s almost as if you’re afraid to tell me or something. You always act as if nothing happened, which I don’t get.”

Okay, Tony was definitely right behind his fleeing heart. “Don’t you think we have bigger things to do than talk about that?”

“See? That’s my point exactly. It’s like you’re ashamed.”

Tony brought his knees up where he was sitting on the floor, hugging them tightly to his chest as if it would help. As if he could hide. “I’m not ashamed.”

Rhodey looked concerned now. “Did you parents ever speak to you about this? I know you don’t need help, but possibly guidelines-”

“Rhodey. Drop it.”

Rhodey did.

**September 28, 2011**

“I’m not straight,” he repeated, as if to test the phrase out again. “I’m not gay either, but I know I’m not only attracted to women.”

Rhodey didn’t say anything, which was almost worse than if he’d started screaming.

“I guess I just wanted you to know,” Tony continued, wishing he could get into the suit and fly away forever. Wishing he had enough guts to leave Rhodey forever.

“Hey,” came Rhodey’s reply at last. “Look at me.” He didn’t look mad when Tony did. In fact, Tony couldn’t exactly pinpoint  _how_ he looked. “It’s okay, please don’t look so scared.”

“Can’t help it,” Tony said, falling into the habit of laying every emotion out in the open when it came to his friend.

“I don’t- I don’t  _hate_ you or whatever it is you’re scared of,” Rhodey continued. “I don’t mind, you know? As long as you’re happy you can be with whomever you want to.”

So it had been that easy. Barely three words and Rhodey still accepted him with open arms. Twentysix years of anguish for nothing. Tony wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry.

“You have no idea how good it feels to hear that,” he breathed out, averting his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief. “I knew you weren’t close minded or anything, but you never know, you know?”

“Come here, you nerd.”

Tony never knew a hug could fix all the broken pieces inside him, albeit for only a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/)


End file.
